♥♥♥ Page 2

https://crouton.net/

but, besides that, I've been going insane trying to process what is even happening to me lolol I probably need more sleep O__o
I haven't been able to access the part of me that does the fun stuff like this website lately, but I think I've been doing other important things.
it's complicated to feel restricted from your own mind somehow. I'm trying my best to let myself understand as much as I can and the rest is... extreme trust.
I think my eyes are blooming open. I have a will to live somehow and I'm just grateful for that. I always had it, right? I mean, I must have lol Something good is growing, that's all I know and the rest is... extreme trust XD

Whatever though >///>
I'm sure you're dying to know the real meat and potatoes of this post.... What have I been doing to help distract myself so I don't go insane (besides crouton)??!

• *Ratatouille TWOie (the birthday sequel)!*

More pictures in the scrapbook, but my friends really helped me save my birthday this year :'3
And I got to wear a fun outfit so I was happy lmaoo


• *New Decor Added to the Merky Manor!*
  
  My mom bought me an led color changing light and I immediately found my neon colored pencils and my Phineas and Ferb coloring book~ UwU



• * IDK how I haven't talked about 31 Minutos??*
  
  My beloved Chilean puppets :O
  Youtube won't let me embed the 1st episode, but here's the 2nd and a link to a playlist with all the episodes, plus an hour long video that convinced me to watch it if you're into that lol
  
  ♥ Playlist with all episodes ♥
  (Most of the episodes in season 1 do have English captions, but you might have to find another option for the later seasons :'v)
  ♥"The Greatest Show You've Never Seen"♥
  (had to link to this one too lol)
  
  
• *I rewatched IASIP bc the bloopers are so cute!* lmaooo They look like they're having fun, ya kno? :3
  
  
  Bia loves Danny Devito and me
  

I've spent a lot more time journaling and doing crafts lately, so I'll get around to posting more about that stuff when I can. I'm wishing you a good day until we meet again lol

I've been writing poetry again, lately. My brain has been thinking in poetry again too. My brain has been doing things I don't understand. I don't understand but I also do. I think back in time, and I barely know me.
I'm proud of myself. I wished and tried so hard to be something that makes sense, but now I guess I can let myself be called crazy. I think I can be a good kind of crazy. I think I can be loved as much as I love you too. I love you all so much too, I know you see it. I love that love and I want to be it. More more more more more~

گر چه من خود ز عدم دلخوش و خندان زادم عشق آموخت مرا شکل دگر خندیدن
***
I was already born with a good sense of humor
But love has taught me to laugh in a different way
Now, like dawn eager to embrace darkness, I laugh
Like a shell about to reveal its pearl, if you break me,
I laugh

***



30th birthday Ratatoullie, btw:

It all feels like so much at once. I hope I can convey it someday. I hope you can see and feel hopeful too. It hurts so much and I wish it didn't have to. It's worth it and I haven't even made it through.



-Merky ♥